Late in the week I knew I was due for a day to myself and today was the day. I woke up feeling that I should do the laundry, get the house cleaned up and various other could be priorities… but the beach was calling so I drove north and landed in Laguna Beach.
I still felt distracted even as I headed out feeling that I should do some other things on the way but next thing I knew I was parked and headed to my favorite store Art for the Soul, then a tasty Carmel Apple and to a vacant bench on an otherwise crowded beach with my latest read.
I had the bench to myself and for a cool February day the sun was straight overhead it was warm and toasty and had me forgetting it was still winter… only in California :0)
I was savoring my last slice of Carmel apple when a man walked up and asked if he could share the bench to which my reply was “of course….” There were many people around coming and going taking up residence on the bench next to us as I started to read. I looked over and commented to the man sharing the bench with me what a beautiful day it was and he agreed saying “ah yes paradise” and our conversation began.
He started to tell me how he was always here, that this was his spot and that amazing things always seem to happen here. He also shared that tomorrow is his 83rd birthday and that he had experienced a pretty great life. Highs and lows he said but it was in this place on the bench that he said his life was at it’s greatest. Where he ponders on how grateful he is for his health although he said his mind got fuzzy every now and then, to live in paradise and have the experiences he had, he shared he couldn’t ask for anything more. I imagined that was true from this place.
He started to share ideas and experiences in his life and I realized this was no accident me sharing this bench with Howard. We were immediate friends and he was saying the very things I had been thinking right then… even capturing the subtitle of a book I hadn’t gotten out of my bag yet in our conversation. Which by the was “While designing your lifestyle, remember to live…”
He shared that in his 83 years he had seen a lot, made some tough but authentic choices, had a battle with alcohol but now rather than dancing on bar tables he could just enjoy this bench, watching people, feeling the water on his feet for his afternoon walks. More people started to come by and sit closer, you could tell they were listening in as I am sure Howard and I looked like an odd pair. They wanted to know what was going on and what we were talking about so they listened in and it was fine... one woman sat on the edge of the bench next to us leaning in and heard him say my name and said “my name is Wendi too”. Another couple walked up with a video camera and wanted to interview Howard for his You Tube talk Show – I was starting to think Howard had earned a reputation I was unaware of. Howard seemed as surprised as I and replied “ I don’t know what they want with me, I don’t know them, I am just me, here on my bench.”
He had said it was a special day, to have this conversation and connection and I agreed... I was grateful. He said some very touching things, telling me to use my gift, to not hide my light as if he knew what that was and was ever re-assuring about my direction, he seemed surprised that I was so receptive and understood where he was coming from.
It was the simple things he said… that what happened here on this bench is what it is really all about.. not all the nice cars driving up and down main street as we spoke or the glitz and the glamour as he put so well. You could tell this man really lived all the days of his life… maybe some fame, maybe some fortune, certainly some challenges and yet he said the best stuff wasn’t flashy it was just about connecting like this and being receptive. He pointed out that people always come around when you’re having fun… connecting, they want to know how, they want to be a part of it and sure enough the people kept coming joining in, listening in.
I looked around and took in the things he saw from this bench .. there was a beautiful girl from Europe asking passerby’s to take her picture as she posed seductively, there was a girl who had this awe and wonder about her bouncing and laughing from dog to child… Howard told me that someone lets her loose and she is not all there… he worries for her. There were couples on the grass behind us and thinkers on the benches beside us. The things and people he must of met and connected with over the years… and today was my day. He made it seem as if I was the only one but my hunch is that he has touched many lives in this very spot... pointing out their gifts, encouraging people to use them and setting a mighty fine example by sharing his.
I knew my parking meter would be expiring shortly and I gave Howard a kiss on the cheek and told him I would see him here again. He told me where his favorite spots were and he said please do this again, sit by him and start a conversation even if he didn’t remember me. I smiled and walked away feeling like I had given and received a gift all at the same time. Much better than the laundry that awaited me at home.
Happy Birthday Howard! You are a gift!
Wendi
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